I feel stupid for myself for not attending d lecture ystd. Thought I could come today and sign for ystd’s lecture but heard noel came and take attendance one by one!! Today I found my classmates, so I went over to the front row and sat w them throughout. The ballroom was blazing cold, i try my best to focus 100% during d lecture….the lecturer made me sleepy.

I went over to meet mom after my lecture n train down to kovan to settle stuff for my sis tuition.

I felt so frustrated sad n whatever u could describe my feelings over what my sis said. 

She complained about no shoe to wear out other than slipper, but deep down u know u actually have shoes(more than 1) to wear. Why cant u be more understanding sometimes? Ppl on the other globe does not even have a slipper to wear.

Then she complained about her spec getting loose when she dance, so she need to change one. why why again?

At this point I felt so sad I wanted to cry so badly. My eye vision has been getting blurer, degree getting higher. Pls note the spec im wearing now had been w me for more than 3 years just so ’i didnt want to waste money’. Then again I thought to myself I know what my mom’s gonna say. She will say I’ll do expensive spec n my sis will do cheap ones, but take note on how many she did within this 3 years that I didnt change? Isnt the price gonna be the same?

You know my hair is in a mess for a long time? Ive been sad about it too, i didnt even want to waste $100 to do my hair. why?

I didnt wanna get angry so often like the past. I wanna cool down, so i went nearby to sit down. I wanna be alone.

I haven been going out shopping? Even if Im buyin clothes online, I use d money I save up?

I do d laundry, cook meals occasionally.

Just tell me what u do.

I told myself I’ll study hard, put 100% concentration when im studying. Cause I wanna work hard, get everything I want and lead a happy life. All I have to do is to put in effort.

When Im typing all this out, my tears couldnt help but to fall down.